My Name is Nick Khamhou Dethoudom Chaleunphone. I’m from Connecticut, USA. I am 35 years old Intersex. I’m from Laos but was born in Thailand in a refugee camp during the ending days of the Vietnam war. My Laotian given name, which is sounds like an Asian girls name is Nilavong. I am a Firefighter/EMT-Basic. I’ve been with the US Coast Guard Auxiliary Since 2005.
I’m an intersex born with Kallmann Syndrome. I’ve been diagnosed with Kallmann Syndrome and Kallmann syndrome since July of 1983. I’m a tomboy intersex and physically, I look like a man, but, I’m genetically a girl by DNA. I do have some breast growth, ambiguous genitals and a micro penis. How I got diagnosed with Kallmann syndrome is a mystery to me because my folks and my doctors kept my medical condition and my medical records a guarded secret from me for fear that it would traumatize me and that it would be a psychological torment for me. My folks kept it a secret and sometimes thought I was messed up in the head and they thought had something wrong with me in the head. They didn’t know what intersex is all about and they didn’t understand what intersex is and what my medical condition is all about. They even never talked about or explained it to my family or relatives. They kept it under the table and a secret from me and it was never talked about. For a long time, my folks would drag me to the doctors office and I kept wondering why I am being taken to doctors office. Being poked and prodded and being looked at as if I was a lab rat. I never knew I was intersex and having Kallmann’s syndrome was until I was able to look deep into my medical records.
Growing up, was very tough for me. I didn’t know what i had or what I am. I always felt weird or strange because when I was younger, I didn’t know what to make of myself. I grew up basically a tomboy because I was never part of the boys or never part of the girls. I always felt like I was an alien from another planet. I always felt I was different growing up mainly because I never fitted in with anyone. I felt like I was an outsider between both sexes because being intersex, I never fitted into either one of them. Even looking at my childhood pictures, I always looked very young, mostly tomboyish like. Even when I was born, I was given a Thai girls name because when I was born, they didn’t know if I was a boy or a girl. It was confusing as to what to make of me and if I was a defect or a deformity. The Thai girls name they gave me at birth and is on my naturalization paperwork is Nilavong, or Nila. It sounds girlish like in Thai and in America. I kept that name until me and my folks migrated to the US and in the US they changed my name to Americanized me and gave me a gender neutral American name. I still have my Thai name when I go back to Thailand and Laos, but I still have my American name as well.
The one thing I am lucky about having Kallmann’s syndrome is that people especially women look at you as being younger than your age. I get comments that I’m lying about my age or that I look ten years younger than my age. I actually call Kallmann’s syndrome the “your lucky syndrome” because I am lucky enough to get away with looking 10 years younger than my age. I still shock people when I tell them that I am 35 and people tell me that I don’t look like I am 35. I think that most of the girls and women get shocked and surprised that I look younger than my age. One of the biggest comments I get is about my medication patch that I have to wear. When people see that patch, people think I am quiting smoking. When I tell them what that Androderm patch is, they get the surprised look and shock because, they never knew what the patch is for.
So basically for me as an intersex person, I live a pretty interesting life and existence. I’m lucky to be younger looking than my age and I am lucky enough to be born intersex and being born who I am. I’m glad that they didn’t cut me when I was younger, but I still wonder why I had something pushed down in my body and I wonder why I had something that looked like a ovary pushed down to look like a testicle. I also wonder why I was dragged to doctors office and I wonder why I had to take those meds that the doctors gave me and wonder why I fell for the line that the doctors told and gave me.
